Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in cairo's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012
3:45 am	no pressure, no diamonds. the more difficulties life gives you, the better. but i guess sometimes, people would rather have a rock...cause it's easier to find. they're not willing to put in a little more effort to find diamonds even if it's worth it... i know that i am no diamond. but i am worth more than a rock -  different, rare, and difficult to break. like coal waiting to be turned into a diamond? but i don't need to be shiny. i'm fine with being like coal. it goes through a lot to help us survive. coal that keeps you warm. coal that heats your food. coal that burns and transforms into energy. coal that gives life. Current Mood: blah (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 21st, 2012
10:54 am	life is unfair but sometimes, karma kicks in and people get exactly what they deserve... it feels great to have dodged a bullet... (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 16th, 2012
11:35 pm	i want to shoot somebody pwede bang di ka nalang mag-exist? i really can't stand you and people like you. i honestly think that the world is better off without people like you. ang harsh pero kasi pag naiiisip ko ang mga sinabi at ginawa/ginagawa mo...ang sama talaga eh... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 15th, 2012
7:28 pm	anesthesia this is my escape i push myself even further so that i can be pulled away by the tides of time farther and farther, away from you. this is my drug to make me forget the pain the pain that keeps on drilling in my brain numb is all i want to become this is my farewell i bid adieu to all my thoughts of you just tired of being restless caught up in the mess you made as i burn these pictures of you in my head erase all the sketches that we drew of a future that will never come tear up all these lies you threw at me this is the last time that you'll see the last of me cause now i know that you're not even worth it. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 8th, 2012
2:48 am	Karma, Y U NO come any sooner? some people just deserve to get hurt...or at least get hit by a frying pan in the face... i really want to become a vigilante... i just want to run around with a frying pan in my hand and start hitting people with it. i'll probably start with her dependent naive face for all the stupid things she said and did...and for not doing what she committed to do and left others to do it for her out of pity, making things more difficult for them. and then he'll be next for choosing not to think even if he's very much capable of doing so. by choosing not to think, he ended up hurting others or getting them in trouble, especially people who are very important to me. you were warned so many times before, but you did not listen. do you really think that we're that stupid to accept all the BS that you keep on giving us? also that dic*-tator who just keeps on getting the position but not the responsibility and work load. not only does he not appreciate what the people under him do but also demands so much but gives so little when in fact he cannot even do what they can... and that annoying awardee, who got all the credit and the position when in fact there were more deserving people for it. and now, she hides behind her project while someone deserving is taking on all the responsibilities that she's suppose to handle. she only appreciates the position, but not the responsibilities and the opportunities that the role gives when it comes to making things better for everyone. there's more but i need to stop here before i explode. (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 26th, 2012
1:42 am	i really need to fix myself... i woke up this morning staring at a butterfly knife... i'm tired of pretending that i'm happy. i'm tired of fake smiles. i'm tired of being angry. i'm tired of being hurt. i have to free myself from all these things. i guess i care too much so i end up thinking too much. i need to end this soon. (Comment on this)
Friday, January 20th, 2012
1:24 am	let's shoot stars...so that we can watch them fall. let's shoot stars so that we can watch them fall see them falling out of place streaks of light left behind as they burn through the atmosphere we see sparks until they fade to nothing. like the stars we fall out place we leave behind traces of ourselves as our life burns out until we crash to the ground. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 18th, 2012
11:05 pm	i just woke up this morning and this thought crossed my mind... if you do the right thing, you get screwed over... while those who do the opposite and hurt others just get away with it and even get rewarded. but when things are already at its worst, all that you can do is hold on to the thought that you did the right thing. (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 12th, 2012
11:28 am	i miss talking to you... ...because you still made sense, even when we were already talking about nonsense. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 4th, 2012
3:13 am	i need to be more honest with myself I tend to rationalize things before feeling them...it helps me put things into perspective. But how come I still keep getting hurt even if I try to do the right thing? I don't follow my heart because I follow my principles and think first of the consequences and how it will affect other people and myself. Well sometimes when i'm caught off guard, I just end up rationalizing things and decide whether or not I should acknowledge my feelings. Most of the time, I end up denying them to myself...which is sometimes too difficult to bear. As what the song EZ as Pi says, "smart people should just follow their hearts..." But i find it difficult to follow my heart if I know that I'll end up hurting someone else... (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 22nd, 2011
1:07 am	you'll never find the right person if you never let go of the wrong one. problem is, how can you know if someone is right or wrong for you? i honestly don't know what i want. i guess i've become too calloused. i don't know if i should stay and keep on going with this because i'm not sure if it's going to get any better. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 13th, 2011
9:39 pm	trust and respect used to have respect for you...but you lost a lot of brain cells along the way...or just decided not to use your brain at all... i thought i was out of control...turns out, you're in much deeper shit because of your actions...good luck with that. no plans on cleaning up after you. good luck with her being able to help out with that. the only thing left for me to do is just step away even further and stop caring at all. you deserve each other. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 7th, 2011
2:31 am	you always have an excuse it's just screwed up (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 6th, 2011
1:28 am	not really sure where this is going but i'm still here. i'm still here because i trust you... and i don't think i can trust anyone else. i should be grateful...but why am i not happy? (Comment on this)
12:47 am	this is the end i don't trust you. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 19th, 2011
12:36 am	death by fatigue so here i am, trying to kill myself with lack of sleep. i don't want to because i have to wake up and go to work. i used to look forward to going to smpc/ipc... but now, i'm just trying to get by. I don't think i can take this anymore... (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 6th, 2011
12:40 am	ako na ang depressed that's why i want to be numb. so that i can forget this feeling. with so many things happening to me, i can't tell what's making me feel worse... (Comment on this)
12:31 am	everything is falling apart...again... on Saturday, it will be my sister's 13th death anniversary... and it's usually around this time that i contemplate on how things could've been different, how she could've been an artist or a culinary student by now, how she could've made a difference...how i could've been a happier person, and how i wouldn't feel this lonely because i know that i'll always have her... but sadly, that's not what happened. and to make things worse, starting next week, i will be alone working on site for a year... and will have to let go of all the things that i enjoy doing at work... and will miss the people i love being with. i am at that point again that i have no control over what's happening to me. it is depressing that all roads lead me to being alone again. (Comment on this)
Friday, September 23rd, 2011
11:11 am	ironic the only guy who cares for me and loves me for who i am can't let me go... but as much as i love him, i'm not happy anymore. it seems that even when i keep on forgiving him, he still can't forgive himself, which just makes our situation worse. i asked for time to recover but he's afraid that i'll find happiness in doing other things apart from being with him. my problem is not that he doesn't want to be friends but it's that he can't just be friends. i don't have the heart to break his... but i can't keep on going like this. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 21st, 2011
12:07 pm	listening to araw oras tagpuan... ♪ di makapaniwala na pwede pa palang magkahanapan mga pusong sugatan ♪ (Comment on this)